How do you feel?

I'm feeling empty...............................................................

Whole crap, why this is happining with me?
I cant take it anymore ):
It feels like everything that could ever give me some kind of pleasure was taked off me, because everything thats good, is wrong and i cant do........................................................
The worse part is: I cant feel the God's love in me, I cant feel complete in Him.
Sometimes my life looks like a theater where I am growing up and going to somewhere, but when the scenes end, seems a verybig bolshit and I feel like a hipocritamor
I sing that I love Him, that I love being in his presence and I trust him...
But I DO?